Chocolate Banana Protein Bars

Hey everyone. Again, I am very awful blogger. No time, no dedication. I’m terrible.

So here’s an extra long one as penance for my suck-age.

I’m taking today’s post to discuss a few things that I think are awesome, and a few things that irritate me.

Fascinating, I know.

First, things that are a major bummer.

1. Health magazines. I legitimately can’t look at one without getting viscerally upset. between the implorations to dive head first into a package of rice cakes and avoid the “bad boy” saturated fat as well as the constant celebration of all things cardio. Not to mention page after page of pharmaceutical interventions for every and any physical, cosmetic, or mental issue under the sun… do I need to say more? No. But I will. These magazines do nothing for the health or self-esteem of its target audience. Put them down. Walk away. Feel better about your life.

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2. Duvet Covers. Random much? I constantly avoid washing my bedding for the simple fact that duvet covers are a FREAKING HASSLE. You have to take out the comforter… no big deal right?! Well, once it’s in the washer/dryer, it sucks all the other towels, pillowcases, and sheets into its gaping hole and prevents them from drying fully. Oh, and then there’s this huge production that is getting the comforter back IN the duvet. It’s irritating.

3. Facebook. Yeah, I know everyone has it, it’s great for getting in touch with people, and blah, blah, blah. For me, it’s a time sucker. I get home from what ever I’m doing and I check facebook. I’m at a red light and I check facebook. I get out of yoga and I make a smoothie… and check facebook. I realize that not everyone has the addictive tendencies that I do, but right now I’ve decided to give up the FB for a while. I’d rather make my own life happen rather than watch other people’s lives happen on a screen. It’s like reality TV, 24 hours a day. No more FB for me, at least for now. I think this also might speed along my blogging attempts.

Things that are awesome.

1. My new gut healing routine:

In the morning I mix a couple of ounces of aloe vera juice with 8 oz. of Revive kombucha (local brew, delicious, and a flavor somewhat akin to beer), and topped off with some sparkly water.

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In the evening I’ve been mixing some Natural Calm with L-Glutamine. Glutamine for repairing the gut lining and the Natural Calm for help with easing into a nice sleepy trance.

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2. Harrison Ford. This guy has been my lifelong celebrity crush. He turned 71 on July 13th. I understand that it’s ridiculous for me to know something like that, let alone have a crush on a 71-year-old movie star, but I don’t think anyone could argue that Harrison Ford does not qualify as awesome.

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3. Fresh summer fruit. Specifically in the form of figs. I feel incredibly lucky to live in California where I can get fresh figs for free every summer. To all the poor, disadvantaged people spread over the rest of the country… I know you’re paying like 5 bucks a pound for these puppies at your neighborhood whole foods. I am sorry. In your honor, I pledge to eat as many free figs as I can while the season lasts.

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Another awesome thing is Juli Bauer’s Cookbook. I’ve hailed her praises before but I’m bringing her up again because she is responsible for this lovely breakfast treat. Go make some!

Chocolate Banana Protein Bars

8 dried dates, pits removed
2 bananas
1/3 c. nut butter
1/4 c. hemp protein powder
2 eggs
1/4 c. cocoa powder
2 Tbsp. ground flax-seed
1 Tbsp. coconut flour
1 Tbsp. cinnamon
1 tsp. vanilla extract
pinch sea salt

  1. Preheat oven to 350
  2. Pulse the dates in a food processor until they break down a bit.
  3. Add the banana, nut butter, eggs, and vanilla until well combined.
  4. Add protein powder, flax, cocoa, coconut flour, and salt. Mix well.
  5. Pour the mixture into a parchment lined baking dish. Spread the batter evenly throughout.
  6. Bake for 20-25 mins.
  7. Let cool and then cut into squares.

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One Comment Add yours

  1. Merl Ledford says:

    So right about those “health magazines.” They’re propped up by multi-national advertisers selling instant relief from (ad-created) anxieties. If we ditch the sales talk (by not buying the magazines) we get rid of the “need” to buy a lot of truly senseless stuff: packaged designer nutrition, designer cosmetic surgery, designer pharmaceuticals, etc.

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